Proverbs 19
Rescue Cycle
Parenting is not always easy. It is even more complex when parenting children from two different split households. In these situations, there are often two completely different sets of standards and value systems at each of the houses for the children to follow and be influenced by. The real heartache comes when your child chooses to obey, or begins to display character traits and values the other parent displays, despite your best efforts to instill godly values in your children.
As much as we want to guide our children’s actions, sometimes we have to allow their actions to have consequences. Think back to something you had to learn the hard way. In extreme scenarios, some even have to hit rock bottom before realizing a change was necessary. Unfortunately, some life lessons are exactly that. Lessons learned from living life.
Many times, the struggle as a parent is wanting to step in and rescue your children so they don’t have to feel hurt or different. At other times, we are trying to instill godly values in our children so their life will be less of a struggle. Of course, we should always protect our children, but when we keep rescuing or tolerating ungodly behavior from our children without holding them accountable, we only allow the cycle of negative behaviors to repeat. Children absorb the behaviors that they see, and they emulate them. For example, if anger is modeled as the norm in the home, it becomes their language too. That is why it is so important for us to model the character of God, and his virtues. Then we must pray, step back, and leave it in the hands of God.
Here are a few verses that resonated with me:
Proverbs 19:12 (NIV) “A king’s rage is like the roar of a lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass.”
This paints a powerful image of influence in my mind. The roar of a lion commands attention, and respect, but can be terrifying. Likewise, the anger of someone in authority like a parent, friend, boss, or community leader can shake people to their core by their tone. However, just as fierce as the roar, the contrast is favor is like dew—gentle, refreshing, and life giving. This portrays the weight that our words and moods carry. When we lash out in anger, it can feel like a roar, leaving fear or confusion. But when we show grace, patience, and encouragement, it’s like a gentle dew – quietly nourishing and refreshing our hearts.
Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.”
Loving discipline is life-giving. It’s not punishment, but correction rooted in hope. Whether you are a parent, mentor, or leader, godly discipline is a way to guide others toward wisdom.
Proverbs 19:19 (NIV): “A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to
do it again.”
This verse is a great reminder that when someone is controlled by anger, there are consequences. If we keep stepping in to save them, we might be keeping them from the growth they need to better themselves. It’s tough to watch people you care about make mistakes but sometimes loving them means letting them deal with the consequences. Not out of punishment, but out of hope that they’ll grow and change.
Reflection:
- Are my reactions more like a roar or like dew?
- How do those I lead, or love feel when they’re around me?
- Is there someone in your life who keeps repeating the same mistakes?
- Are you stepping in too quickly to rescue them?
- Pray for wisdom to know when to help, and when to step back and let God do the deeper work.
Prayer:
God, we come before you to ask for wisdom to love on our friends and family. Not just by stepping in, but by stepping back, and leading with your guidance and strength. Help me to trust you Lord, that you have a plan for everyone made in your image. Especially when the actions of the people closest to us lead them into trouble. I pray for those struggling with anger, that you would soften their hearts and show them a better way to cope. If I’m the one who’s quick-tempered Lord, correct my behavior to make my life represent who you want me to be. Help me to exhibit your character traits of strength, kindness, and gentleness. Teach me patience, self-control, and grace. Let your spirit lead me in every relationship, guiding my actions in truth and love.
In Jesus’ name, amen.